4 Screen Trios That Should Have Been Polyamorous
Spoiler alert!! (Although the most recent film on this list is from 2003!)
4. Ferris & Sloane & Cameron – Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986)
This cult classic stars titular Ferris Bueller, the audacious but endlessly charming manipulator whose wit and antics carry the film. But just as important to the plot is his best friend Cameron. Many of the stunts Ferris pulls throughout the movie are for Cameron—either to rile him up or to get him out of his comfort zone. Though it’s debatable whether or not Ferris actually has Cam’s best interests in mind, it’s clear by the end that Ferris cares very deeply for him in his own way.
Ferris is, quite literally, what gets Cameron out of bed in the morning. He challenges Cam’s reluctance to live life, while Cameron’s voice of reason acts as Ferris’ otherwise non-existent conscience. To some extent, they need each other. (Plus, they’re childhood friends. How romantic!)
If the daredevil and the killjoy balance each other out as contrasting extremes, Sloane is their middle ground. As the most easygoing one, she is able to reach both Cam and Ferris in ways they can’t connect with each other. Her non-judgmental nature wins her Cameron’s vulnerability, as evidenced by the way he confesses his grievances and insecurities to her after the parade. And let’s not forget her romantic tension with Cam. It would not be a stretch to assume that Cameron is in love with Sloane. Their stroll without Ferris and the fact that Cameron watches Sloane change out of her clothes by the jacuzzi is confirmation enough of that. But Sloane approaches him with tenderness, too: stroking his face after he “goes berserk”, smiling benevolently at him as they confess their lack of ambition for the future, making lots of affectionate eye contact.
On top of all that, Ferris doesn’t seem to mind one bit. He holds so much fondness for both Sloane and Cameron that he seems to find their interactions nothing but amusing and enjoyable. Though he puts Cameron in the position of third-wheel, he rarely does anything to exclude him. (If anything, Sloane is the one tagging along on Ferris and Cam’s excursion.) Their group dynamic is easy. Sloane and Ferris both seem equally invested in helping Cam develop a spine. It’s not difficult to imagine Ferris and Sloane conspiring to take their depressed boyfriend downtown for a last hurrah before the summer.
3. Jess & Jules & Joe – Bend It Like Beckham (2002)
Love triangles are one of the worst heteronormative tropes in existence, though admittedly this film utilizes it quite well as a plot device. Jess and Jules’ friendship breakup (because of Joe) is just as devastating as any romantic one. But that begs the question: which relationship is more central to the story? Jess’ burgeoning relationship with Joe? Or her friendship with Jules?
Many people in the last twenty years have argued that Bend It Like Beckham is full of sapphic symbolism and metaphors. But in case you still need convincing, let’s review: Jules’ mother has the impression that Jess and Jules are lovers. Their relationship is close, supportive, and special. Despite the fact she’s the newest to the team, Jess quickly surpasses Jules’ other friendships and becomes the most important relationship Jules has. Jules goes to Jess’ sister’s wedding as her plus-one for all of thirty seconds. Even Jules staring at Jess across the park feels like a meet-cute. And let’s not forget Jess saying, “Kissing? Me? A boy? You’re mad, you’re all bloody mad.”
Even without metaphors, the film doesn’t ignore how difficult it would be for them to come out of the closet. Not only does Jules’ mother have a complete meltdown when she thinks Jules is dating a girl, we also see Jess’ closeted friend Tony grappling with his sexuality and his family’s expectations to marry a woman. Tony’s offer to marry Jess so she can pursue football is not dissimilar to a “lavender marriage”, a mixed-orientation marriage to hide true sexualities.
While some would argue that the film is very much about a lesbian relationship, why not have both? Both Jules and Joe are integral to Jess’ character development, platonic or otherwise. Both are very supportive of Jess’ secret desire to be a football player. Both go to great lengths to get Jess to play, even when she faces obstacles she herself has no intention of overcoming. Joe even goes to Jess’ house to plead her case to her parents. And at the end, Jess and Jules literally move to America together while Joe waits at home and gets cozy with Jess’ dad. Very romantic.
2. Spock & Captain Kirk & Doctor “Bones” McCoy – Star Trek: The Original Series (1966-1969)
Referred to as “McSpirk” by shippers, this particular throuple has existed in fandom for decades. (And then there’s the giant fandom for Kirk and Spock, the founding fathers of slash fiction as we know it. That particular relationship is worth several essays on its own.) This trio was the heart of the original series. Even the show’s writers have said these characters were written to complete each other. With Spock holding up the logical end, McCoy holding up the emotional end, and Kirk in the middle, they perfectly balance each other out. As they range from dangerously spontaneous to calculatingly rational, their problem-solving disputes are never boring to watch.
The chemistry between these three is unparalleled. On the rare occasion Kirk takes his eyes off him, Spock can be found trading insults with McCoy like the universe depends on it. Kirk is the only person to use the affectionate nickname “Bones” for the doctor, much like a special pet name, and loves to push his buttons. All three of them use teasing as their main form of flirting, whether it’s to poke fun at Spock for showing human characteristics or to deliberately provoke McCoy into a rant, and they employ it constantly. (And personal space? What’s that? Whoever said Vulcans are touch-averse?) Also highly suspicious, Kirk often brings Spock and McCoy on away missions, despite it being unnecessary or against protocol entirely.
Let’s be honest: not a whole lot about this show would change if this relationship were canon. The episode entitled “The Empath” sees the trio arguing about which of them should be able to sacrifice himself as the test subject. When McCoy sedates Kirk, he is grieved to realize that Spock intends to volunteer himself, and subsequently tranquilizes him as well. The whole episode is about love and empathy, and exposes the trio’s clear attachment to each other underneath the facade of insults. Could it be platonic attachment? Sure. But upon further inspection, it looks pretty gay.
1. Naina & Aman & Rohit – Kal Ho Naa Ho (2003)
Polyamory would not change one iota of the plot of this movie, and that’s a fact. Who’s on the film cover? Naina, Aman, and Rohit. Which of the men does Naina fall for? At different points in time, both. Is there a running gag about Rohit and Aman being in a gay relationship? Yes, actually, there is. And from a big-picture standpoint, the polyamory narrative certainly beats other interpretations of this movie—more specifically that Aman is a manipulator and Rohit is Naina’s consolation prize.
If you’re new to this film, let’s go over the plot:
Initially infatuated with her friend Rohit, Naina falls for her new neighbour, Aman, who charms his way into her family and heals their rifts. Unfortunately, Rohit finally sees Naina in a romantic light just as she’s realizing her feelings for Aman. But the competition that usually follows the love triangle trope is suspiciously absent. Though Aman is in love with Naina, it becomes clear that he is terminally ill and is consequently playing matchmaker to Naina and Rohit.
There is never animosity between the two men. Rohit and Aman remain close friends throughout the film, even when Rohit realizes that Aman also has feelings for Naina. More than anything, it feels like the relationship between two metamours. When Aman’s heart condition is revealed, Rohit’s devastation is second only to Naina’s.
At Naina and Rohit’s wedding, Aman sits between them. Naina cries through the whole event, not because she is marrying the wrong man but because the other man she loves is dying. And Rohit shares her pain. In fact, everyone at the wedding is crying. The whole wedding is steeped in grief, and the scene ends with our trio locked in a passionate three-person hug. It gives major couple-and-their-paramour vibes. Aman cries silently by himself as the bride and groom leave, and it's not a stretch to imagine he's mourning them both, not just Naina; these are some of his last moments with the couple. Jealousy doesn’t even factor into it.
Despite joking about who gets Naina in their next life, Aman and Rohit’s last conversation is ultimately about their shared love for her, and the subtext says so much more. When Aman is on his deathbed and the friends and family come to say goodbye, it is only Rohit who, clasping his hand lovingly, sits with Aman in his last moments. If that’s not enough to be a convincing screen throuple, then nothing is.